Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Last blog of '08

Last Blog of '08

ehh my year was filled with a lot...but the month of December for me was just so crappy.
That's why I have soo many blogs for the month.
So many dramas && stupid emotions.

But I try to remember the Year as A whole && it was good.
OK so yea last blog.

Hello '09

-New Year same Meech? Metri? Lametrius?

Monday, December 29, 2008

Waterworks..

She knows what she does wrong
She knows that she is losing people as we speak blogspot.
She knows that she is aloneranger in this world.
She doesn't need to be reminded off the bullshit bc she already knows.
She know that everyone hates her && her behavior.
She know the people that have once been there...are packing their bags && giving up.
But one thing she doesn't know is whyy the waterworks this time?
Is today a special day?
Why when she said Man up they weren't listening to her which angered her even more..and brought them on stronger & faster. She souldn't control them which was upsetting.
Why does everything she touch turn to dust?
Why can't people just approve of people for who they are and how they are?
She's tired of living like this. And frankly they are tired of her living like this also.
They have no idea her pain..her misery. Thats why she isolates herslef from the world.
She lives on her own island..only comes to shore at times..but other than that she stays on that island.
The new ones that fall into her trap have no idea whats the deal. They are not ready for the roller coaster & so some may stand on the line but are not very patient so they get off and go to another ride. Some stand on the line get to the front and then they don't want to ride the roller coaster anymore. Some stand on the line get to the front get on the roller coaster and lose all their excitement bc the ride isn't what they expected. Then there are those that stand on that line for hours until they reach the top..they sit in the front the roller coaster to really experience the thrill and they love it. They rwant to ride that roller coaster over and over until their thrill is no longer there.



-Tears do really dry on their own

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Meds.

I Lametrius Ollie white...will kill someone in the future && get away with murder. Possibly going on a killing spree? :D


OK so there is this young girl.
A lot of people call her Metri.
She is a nice looking girl.
But in reality she is all fucked up in the brain.
What runs thru her head?
aha if only u all knew.....
She will need professional help in the future..
She has a SERIOUS emotional problem.
Sometimes she has these random mood swings that she doesn't understand
But when she is to deep within there is no way of regaining their good sides.
They all HATE her for this...&& she doesn't really cares.
Just the fear about it sometimes that scares
herself...
She doesn't even remember who she is at the moment.
They all HATE her...that's great. She feeds off their hate..
She soaks in all their hate..their confusion..their anger..and
Like rays from the sun....she grows and grows off all this energy that surrounds her.
Her thoughts get more complicated.
So complicated that she is speaking another language
She can't understand herself.
Who is she?
"Will someone bring Lametrius her meds..she forgot to take them today."

-NO IDEA WHO I REALLY AM!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

2.50 for 10 minutes? lol

Night was filled with....

Hoodies.
Party.
church.
5 dollars for 20minutes.
stupid people.
gay people.
homeless.
crazy insane.
lmfao.
last name?
idk.
Please don't sit with me.
HOW u doin [raspusha voice].
Fakes.
Annoying.
Xmas trees.
McDonalds.
Hookers.
Heels.
Rain.
Cold Air.
What? Bc one dance?
Like who? lol
dime bags ^_^
Living room floors.
6train.
-jerk. [con a smile]

Friday, December 26, 2008

Dripping Blood..

Her heart aces.
Her mind spins.
She is trying to fight
everything within.
She fights her tears
She fights her love
She fights herself
She fights when will it be enough?
Shee beats herfself down
until she is totally depressed
fuckingg up
lookin a hot mess
FUCK OFF !!
Let her be!
-the slow & painful death..

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

& died with no soul..

One the best songs ever: Immortal Technique-Dance with the devil

Friday, December 19, 2008

When will it sink in?

Still living as if...
it was all a dream.
yea just a dream

not reality. smhh can't be.



-Her lips are sealedddd shut!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

she couldn't control herself

-Todays December 18th..the day she lost her mind.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Awaken Coma..

So She sleeps away her life
Every time she has a certain feeling
Her emotions are so backed up
She will definitely crack one day like a pair of Og's
&& she doesn't find anything wrong with it
But her friend says its dangerous
Why should she be awake && suffer?
So she might as well turn to death?
Her tears are angry
They are backed up as well
They form in her eyes but never have a chance to live
Lol who gives a fcuk?
They don't care bout her
They only pretend && try to bribe her
with their "LOVE" && "AFFECTION"
No they do not know whats goin on in her head.
NO they do not know what it feels like
living in her shoes everyday
She tries to apperciate.
She trys to express...but whats the deal with this expressionism?
She does not really believe in anythingg but sleeping.
She sleeps away her troubles && doesn't find anything wrong with it..
When she's a sleep she doesn't miss out.
Sleeping is an escape...so she sleeps away her life?
Midlife crisis...ahhhh =/
**Maydeathdouspart
-Do not judge a book by its cover

Monday, December 8, 2008

ello.

Ello there sunshine..lovely day?
The day was ok...coulda been better.
Idk what to do with myself.
Im one lazy fuck up.


w.e.

-drop out

Friday, December 5, 2008

December's bbq bacon shrimp

My life?

Living the life as a teen. Making moves. Chillin. Uh procrastinating.' Today finally seen & spoke to the God moms after 2wks. We went out to jersey me her & her moms...went to Bloomingdale's to pick up her coat. She actually walked out with two...&& me I just have to order my monclerr&Juicy online loll. Um after bloomys we went to TGIFridays...funny huh bc today is Friday?? [laughs to self] :shrugs shoulders: yea so I ordered the BBQ bacon shrimp came with onion rings & mashed potatoes...but I said FRIES! BBQ BACON SHRIMP IS LIVE. loll Grandma Mable ordered some broccoli

December's agenda;

December 6-Hair dresser...
December 9th&10th-Dance practice
December 13th- Urban Legends team Meeting
December 16th &17th-Last Dance practice b4 show
December 19th- My BEAUTIFUL twins BDAY!!!
December 22nd-Leslie Bday + Stefan Bday
December 23th-Last day of Sko_Ol & SHOW!!!


------> (-_-)ZzZz

Sunday, November 30, 2008

PIVOTAL!


Today is the last day of Novemeber. Oh how does time flyyy. The marking period is almost over. This is my last post in november. Being a senior is just flyying by. Feels as if im missing out on the world. I feel like im the turtle in this race u know. Im leaningg back in this recliner chair...to far back. When will I get up?

-the dark ages. O_O

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Grey Hairs.

HAPPY B I R THDAY FRIO


Its 7:32 PM; and im still in the house.
Today is one my G R E A T friends Bday &&
Leslie tried to ruin it. [Leslie is my "GODMOMS"]

I talk about her a lot..but she knows little about who

I am or what I do with my life.

She just knows what I feed her...and she thinks I lie about everything.

Which I sorta do..I dunt want her to KNOW about me really.

She thinks Im a screw up && that I won't do shit with my life.

She says im goin to work in McDonalds.

She doesn't think that dancing is serious to me.

The only control she has over me is $$$..

which I HATE. Oh GOSH I need a J O B>seriouslyy >:O

She gives me gray hairs. She is the reason why I NEVA smile.

Its either her way or the high way...so I suffer.

I cry I pull my hair out..I keep my thoughts to myself.

I let her push me around...why?

BC she has the power.


-Stefan (7:19:56 PM): yep
-Stefan (7:20:06 PM): i just count
-Stefan(7:20:24 PM): 9 more months

Monday, November 17, 2008

November High

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y N I C O :D

PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE.
Why Live Above The Influence?
Whats the FUN in that?
The NICE feeling.

The CHINESE eyes.
OH what a feeling when your lips are numb
&& your head is light.
When u are sitting yet your soul takes aflight.

lol lol lol lol lol when your laughter never decease.


-Im higher than a motherfcuker in a plane man..but I ain't in a plane.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Dagger Dagger!

Don't u love being daggered? [=
I know a WHOLE lot of people that do.
Daggered on basketball courts, Bowling alleys, middle of the street, back of buses..etc u name it!
For those who don't know what being daggered is;
METRI(8:03:04 PM): yo give me a definition of being dagger
gab(8:03:22 PM): being dryfucked like theres no tomorrow lol
METRI(8:03:28 PM): lmfao




Dryfucked? Yea thats the only parties sugar & booger attend.
ALOT of daggering goin on 11-12-08.
&& unexpected locking of lips? lolzz yea
Sometimes ppl get caught up!
Right moment RIGHT person? :D [smiles]
Right moment WRONG person? =[ sad face [coughs] lol


After all that daggering...

I need a drink & and a morning after pill.


**Backstaircase may work also..lol. ;)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Stream-of-conscious.2


Ok its been a minute since I've blogged lots on my mind lets start with todays date..NOVEMBER 9th 2008 the clock just stroke 2pm...I love music been downloading itt all day started with dcole,than reggae, took it bakk to the jackson 5 & the fugees..smh its novemeber and I still have NO IDEA how my life is goin to turn out..what path im heading down..argg college college college its so annoying the word is thrown in my face everyday...what do u want to do with your life...damn leave me along let me sit down one day and figure its out..but when is dat day goin to come november is alreay here...lets move away from college for a while and let me give u an insight on my life..:phone is rining: gosh I hate answering the phone...why because its never for me people just call my cell..lol not like I pick up..I hate having a converstaion on the phone its gets really annoying and awkward sometimes (depends on the person) boys boys boys they suck ass...girl girls girls..they suck sometimes too..yea so yea I've been partying like everyweekend and I can't help it..its in my blood like a stalker im addicted..hit me up if u know of any parties im always down and always the life of the party...yea..idk imma write another blog.



-u want some cornbread..of course!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Movies.

The new 1$ ice tea <33.

Seen saw 5 today. Shit was goooodd...but didn't like the ending -_-. ily bestie =*


Using the mist on the window to make art...not war.



-Fool me once shame on you...fool me 2x shame on me.



Half a day...

Oh yea yesturday we had a half day because u know report card time..and ehh parent teacher conference -_-. My report card was ok...but could be better. 80avg. Those 2 stupid 75s that I received brought my avg down =/. Anyways yea so we only had periods 2,3,8,&9. I went to 2,3,&8 but skipped out on 9th and chilled i nthe college office with whole bunch '09 heads. And this is how it went...


W A T C H ^^ COMMENT lolz.

Seen this walking down convent to 125th

V


-may our worlds be brighter.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Gregarious tears..


save the tears. where are they gettin u in life? People see tears they see fear, weakness. They see how pathetic u are. LOL they laugh right in your face...not giving a damn. LOL. They spread the word around town and soon everyone knows how weak u really are...although u pretend to be this wolf. But guess what? Your just a wolf in sheeps clothing. Yes, You put on a front...u love it when ppl show alittle sign of affection or interest concerning your life. LOL. You laugh at how weak THEY are..and now the tables have turned. You've captured them and lured them in with your fishing rod and bait. They seemingly become so drawn and attached....to your bait....till u have them forever! ahahahahaha...They are in the palm of your hand. They surround around u and venerate your everystep,word,blood,sweat,and tears...You've got it made. Your plan is going just how u imagined....(to be continued)



-How long will Inanity contiune before one renounces?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Stream-of-conscious.


Fuck em all. Yup. Fuck em all. Fuck em all. Fuck em all. My eye hurts. Im tired. Just ate..had Mc dz but still hungry. I shouldn't be sitting here. Like wtf? so what if I draw o nymself? ARGG I hate u & u & u. Felt really sick today. Yes 67 woot woot. The last girl? oh yea. So he wanted to take me out...idk. Texting all day...ppl I dunt even know lolz. When will it be my chance. When will it happen to me. Neds declassified skool blah ish is on..just seen unfabulos. WTF am I goin to write abot. I like a lot of things but what to write about? Why wasn't I that child...Born in this world alone..thats all I need is me..fuck em.



-Before day & night comes...Im alseep.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

10 things I'd love say to ppl...but not in their faces, aha!

RULES:
1) List 10 or more things you want to say to people, but never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Never discuss it again.

1. UM yea Sorry IM not interested in you as a potential lover. Your koolz but thats it...please move on if u already haven't.

2. Omg when I first met u I was like...wtf yea so...wtf is that. aha.

3. You make me wanna....

4. I only pretend to like u ya dig....

5. I really really do not like u...never want to see u again really but hey I know thats not goin to happen. Freakin seen ya ass this summer...eww. I defn regret puttin my lips to yours...seriously.
And what I hate even more is being reminded of my mistake. Oh gosh.

6. Stop thinking that u started EVERYTHING. Like fuck outter here...nobody wants to be like u.
You mock...the world mocks and copies each other. Unless u were here when GOD created this EARTH u ain't start, create, or cause a revolution...

7. FAT ASSS!!!!! l o l

8. Wtf are u lookin at seriously....like don't look at me or touch me..GOSH.

9. I don't understand things...Been friends for too long. But w.e. u c an have it your way.

10. Actually I don't regret I just wish that things were different. I know I've lied..lol a lott..because idk u were really annoying. OBSESSED with shit that I didn't give one shit about.....gosh and than to think such a thing...sayin that I would do such a thing...come on.

11. You talk to damn much...stfu sometimes.

12. Your such a FRAUD.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

I love pancakes.


Today is her day. She has balance...a sense of aura around her at this moment, and guess what? Nothing or Noone can mess it up. ahhh She breathes in and out. Wakin up early saves the day. She is nly focusing on her life, her goals, her dreams, her loved ones...the ones that REALLY care. She sees thru the bullshit...she understands the escape. She lives for her. Can't noone stop her. Today your opinios don't matter. aha. Your nonsense just bumps into her shield. aha Your the one that is angry she just skips away. Leaving u stranded, hung, drunk off HER realizations. We all need to just say fuck it. Just stop worrying. JUST DO IT like nike. Walk forward and not back. yea yea w.e. idc really.


I love PANCAKES.


-aha if only u were in on her secrets.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

ello world.


Lovely day ehh?

Lets have high sex that never ends all day =].

This is short and sweet.

-I can feel my legs =D

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Sunny D.


Saturday Evening and im in my room on my moms laptop. Already I've Cleaned my room, washed 2 loads of clothes, and did my Health HW. Those are just some of the activites that I have engaged myself in today. Now im bored and starvin. Today I had this honey and oats bar and 4 cupcakes. Thats all that I had and possibly will be eating for the day. I hate askin my moms for her laptop because she's always complaining. She thinks that I am goin to mess it up. Like wtf? She doesn't even use it but she doesn't want ME using it. The only reason I ask her for it is because my computer stopped working and everytime I want to go take it in she's always making up excuses. Now she tellin me ohh u have to take it yaself. Like WTF. I have to take that heavy ass shit by myself on the bus all the way to co-op city. argg Imma do it tomorrow morning, Because I refuse to keep askin her for her laptop..im tired of hearin her mouth. W.e. Im waiting for my pics to upload on this crap so I can have a picture for this blog. Until next time AMERICA.



-Right now she feels some sort of equilibrium.

Monday, September 8, 2008

ConARTist.

As I sit ALONE in this room. I believe that I am destined to be ALONE. Well if I am ALONE the rest of my life I shall be ALONE and independently strong. Truthfully. Im full of s**t. The smoothest conARTist that u will ever come across. I lie to myself all the time so that I won't crumble under the eyes of others. Because u know thats what others want to see so that they can have a feelin of triumpet and praise, over ones dead body. They want to have the power. She doesnt let them walk all over her instead she plays with their minds. Jedimindtricks. Little Boys Litte dicks. "Im confused." they say but u know what your supposed to be confused. Only she understands she and no not he but only she and no not me only she and no not we only she.


-She feeds u what u want to hear.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

:sigh:



Im just so confused. Im a confused soul that needs to be rescued. Right now its 12;41 am and im supposed to be sleep because I have school in a couple hours. Sometimes I just arggg hate everythingg, in life everything. WTF. Sometimes I think tooo much. I wish my heart was a black hole. I wish I didn't have emotions, feelings,emotions....they really suck. Why do I care? sometimes I wonder. It bothers me. what? Everythinggg does. Idk imma stop writing. Who really cares about my life? Like seriously really. And I could careless that u all donot care..I prefer it rather. W.E.


-Alone in the dark..where is my light?

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Just another rainy day


Ok so today is saturday And I am sittin at home. Everyday is a new day. A new breath. A new thought. A new idea. A new start. Time restarts and so we have a chance to make things better instead of goin bakk in reverse. I sit at home today. I am bored because there is really nothing to do but watch movies, talk on aim and check my mail. I really should be doing my english HW but i can do it tomorrow....or even later on tonight. Right now at this moment my fan is on because boy is it hott....and my television is on...but on mute. Also I am awaiting for my chinese food. STARVIN!!!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Sisterhood

They are each others sister.
They are each others company.
They are each others shoulder to lean & cry on.
They are a Sisterhood.
They are each others inner thoughts.
They are each others feelings.
They are each others dreams.
They are a Sisterhood.
They are each others eyes.
They are each others brains.
They are each others hearts.
They are a Sisterhood.
They are each others tears.
They are each others fears.
They are each others blood.
They are a Sisterhood.
Bonded by love.
They are a sisterhood.
Bonded by hope.
They are a sisterhood.
Bonded by lies.
They are a sisterhood.
Bonded by life.
They are a sisterhood.
They are a sisterhood.
They are a sisterhood.

Never to be tamed & beaten down by THE MAN or any MAN.
They are a SISTERHOOD.
Stronger than ever...ready to go to war.
They are a SISTERHOOD.


-& may ualways remember the SISTERHOOD.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Emotionally Attached

Once upon a time there was this boy named Tom & this girl named Ginger.
Tom & Ginger met thru a couple friends and so they became good friends.
Ginger was in a relationship & Tom was single ready to mingle.
Ginger & Tom texted each other a lot....than texting turned into late night phone calls.
Tom & Ginger also began to hang out a lot.
Both Ginger & Tom started catching feelings for each other.
All the time they hung out Ginger & Tom would kiss.
Ginger knew what she was doing was dishonorable because she was already in a relationship.
Tom really wanted Ginger to be his instead of the next dude's because he really started catching strong feelings for her. He even started to LOVE her.
Tom & Ginger started getting into arguments.
Tom really wanted Ginger for himself. =/
Ginger really liked Tom. She really did but she wasn't in LOVE with him.
She LOVED her boyfriend.
She really didn't want to break toms heart...but he just didn't get it.
He didn't understand why she couldn't be his & that they can only remain friends.
Shortly after their argument Tom stopped speaking to Ginger because of the pain he felt.
Ginger didn't want that to happen but she figured it was for the best.

Lessons learned;

1. Men are the new women. They cry & b*tch more than we do and its a shame.
Tom knew the situation from the beginning..he knew that Ginger had a man but he still became emotionally attached to her. =/
I know how Tom feels it hurts it really does when the one person u have a liking for or actually love u can't have. It hurts...but u will get over it. Trust.

2. If u know that your in a relationship already do not lead other people on and toy with their emotions. Its not cool and the person really ends up hurt even heart broken. You may lose a really good friend. Also this person may dislike u afterwards maybe even HATE you. Your the monster in the end. But in the end the person will move on.


-Boysguysmen need to MANtheFUCKup.






Pretty unbeauteous


She is pretty unbeauteous. Everyday she wakes up & looks in the mirror & she never likes what looks back at her. She actually dreads it despises it...but she has to look in that mirror to remind her of how ugly she truly is. But that's why She spends hours trying on different attires even if she is just walking to the store. She doesn't want the world to see how ugly she is so she plays dress up. When she is done playing dress up then is when she is ready to walk out the door & out into harsh world. She takes one last glimpse in the mirror before she leaves, just to see how "cool" she appears or how much of an outcast she is. She is ready. Just ready to bump her music & walk down the street with her eyes on her feet. No she can't look anyone in the eye because than they will see how big of a LIAR she really is. Sometimes she hears voices....but their liars as well. She doesn't believe one word that comes out their mouths. LIE LIE LIE that's what the world is one big enormous LIE & she is apart of it. They say Beauty lies skin deep...well all her materialistics are all the beauty she needs. Everyday she wakes up & looks in the mirror & everyday the mirror lies truthfully. She is pretty ugly.


Now u know why her head is bowed.
Now u know why she doesn't like undressing.
Now u know why she doesn't sex.
Now u know why she is alone.


-Mirriors lie truthfully but where is the truth within the world?

Friday, August 8, 2008

Secrets.



She realized that her life is secret. She is mysterious to others. She doesn't spill her beans easy like others. If in life u do not ask questions u do not receive answers. She always live by those words. Sometimes her mind wonders aimlessly. She has dreams, hopes, && desires. But no one shall ever know. She keeps everything a hush. Who cares anyways? They only care bout materials And so she acts like she cares about materials herslef just to fit in with those peers of hers. She really wants to just go somewhere and tell ALL. She wants to end up somewhere just YELL her every thoughts, her feelings. She wants to cry her heart away into the ocean. But for now she sits and waits just waits. Goes about her everyday life talkin to herslef. And no she is not crazy well may just alittle. But not totally insane in the membrane. But whatever who cares she stopped caring. Well Atleast she trys not to. She just wonders sometimes who will know her secret?



-If she dies at this very moment who will cry?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Crazy thing is...

Today was interesting.

I truely madly deeply beeleave that I attract CRAZY INSANE people. I have no idea why...like am I crazy? It seems everywhere My friends and I go im always the one that the "crazy" people get drawn to...some what like a target.

An example is this time Isis, Gabby & I were sittin in Mc dz [soho] talking eatin laughin away...talking to one of the Mc dz employees and this guy...looked like he was homeless walks in the Mc dz walks past us and walks to the front. He walks right back past us and out the store. Ok normal. Than he comes back in the Mc dz walks pass us again walks to somewhere.....and turns around to walk back out....&& before he walks back out stops a few feet away from me && starts yellin...He was yellin some crazy stuff at me like I didn't understand what he was sayin...it was directed to me && it really scared me caught me off guardd....that was scary lolz but yet funny. But thats just one encounter inwhich the crazy or misunderstood ones came across me.

But yea back to my day. Got an IM [instant message] from this dude today named resonable doubt[myspace display name] sayin what would I say to a guy with a tongue ring...blah blah blah I went wih him to get a tongue ring down on Astor place. He is pretty koolz....I can see myself hangin with him again. It was unexpected && like random that he would hit me up...but u know all his friends flaked on himm couldn't or didn't want to go so u know bein the nice person that I am I say OK =p. After me watchin him get his tongue pierced....I headed on to BK[new lots] to hang with trevor && jas && gabby,isis,etc...


end of the day I love all them whores...hate TRAVIS.

-May God Bless

Monday, August 4, 2008

Green eyes.


Once upon a time there was this young girl who was lost&&cofused...She felt like she didn't belong to this society. She felt ugly& alone.So she thought green eyes would make her pretty.She always envied those with the nice eyes.And so she went out&& bought herself some green eyes.She felt pretty...felt like she belonged for awhile.She fooled many people but not all.But in the end she really was foolin herself.

-to be continued.