Monday, November 23, 2009

The Young African American Man...

'Behind every emotional disturbance there is a story.'
Tell me yours...

Being through so much emotionally from getting shot at, at a young age
to thoughts of Suicide.
The young African American Man...
I commend you and your Strength.
Despise the Pain, you've risen above it all.
The Young African American Man...

'Having you heart stepped on is the worst thing feel like you have nothing to live for but what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger.' -The Young African American Man...

Great Succes is in the future for you.
Live life never stress.
The Young African American Man...
oh how you inspire.
This is for you
The Young African American Man.

'Hair pulled back tight fit into a knit bun, never like showing my face but here it goes it's done
Afraid of your judgements always seemed to care, fuck what you say & fuck you I'm here.'


Suicidal Thoughts.

"I just want to slit my wrist & end this bullshit.."
When our hearts are ripped out our chests, pulled apart, shattered into pieces, stomped on and thrown into the deepest wells, lost with no hope...we transform into different beings. The beating heart no longer exist and an infamous black hole appears. Along with our hearts, our emotions slowly wither away...and soon enough our minds are gone. we turn into these lifeless human beings with no hope in the world. everything and everyone is against us. There is no one out there like us, we are alone. we start to have suicidal thoughts. We think it's the easiest way out. POW! death = problem solver. In reality you are creating a bigger problem. Suicide is very Selfish. Your just thinking about yourself. Your not thinking about the people that love & care for you. The people that NEED you. What about others? Commiting suicide is a coward move. It's like why are you so afraid of living?
Times are hard. Everyday is a struggle for some of us. Relating to my last blog we have to learn how to vent & talk to people. This helps a lot. An escape for myself is writing blogs. Although i don't have a post everyday im constantly putting my emotions/thoughts/feelings onto paper or in another form. I just want to say no matter how bad your life is going right now, at this moment in time, please don't give up on it b/c there are those that will never give up on you. There are those who will always be there for you. Those that love & support you no matter what... so when the going gets tuff never give up! Life is precious, value it as long as 'God' is giving you the chance to.
P.S. I love you & I am here for you always and FOREVER.

Painful Smiles

Everyone is smiling. Walking around like everyday is a Sunday day. Oh what a perfect Society this is. Walk & Smile, walk & Smile. I try telling myself that everyday. You look at these Social networking sites and see people's emotions constantly on a roller coaster. Constantly movie trailers to life, always a preview. Now lets get to reality because sunny days and smiling faces everyday are not GENUINE. There are so many people that are crying on the inside. The world is filled with Silent Screams and restrained thoughts. There are many of us that put on a front for the outside world, when nearly every night we are crying ourselves to sleep. We turn to illegal substances and Alcohol poisoning as a way to escape, but all of this is just temporary. We all need help but we are so afraid to admit it. Bottled up emotions will only explode if constantly shaken up. Exploding, thus might put others in danger. We are all human. We all have emotions/feelings it a part of life that we have to deal with. Vent. Let it out. Sadness can birth beautiful art. (melox quote). Stop hiding your fear behind those pearly whites & talk to someone. There is always someone with an ear.

Friday, November 13, 2009


I hope it never ends....
Hello Oblvion
My emotions kick in the front door
Straining hopes
Bleeding dreams....
Abstract Beings
Cloudy Minds
Lust seeping through the pores
So numb can't take it anymore.......

Thursday, November 12, 2009


4am & yes I am still up so much on my mind omg tres tetas lol and i thought i had an issue there is only so much as humans that we can bring to the table ok idk where iwas going with that oh yes i am human & yes i hurt & yes it takes me a while to get over things but i try to look past them stay strong even if they are thrown in my face all the time shrugs so yea...ok this snoring is getting annoying seriously i need to listen to some music maybe damn its novemeber idk what to do really yes i need to get it together nods head.