Tuff Cookie?

I just love it....when the only person u wish u didn't hear from, u awant to hear from at this very moment. IDK what I want to write right now. I have no words..they put on a front just to be accepted in this world and I'm the one with the issues? I'm the one that has to change right? This is life..and human nature..why should I assimilate into these nonhuman like creatures? The ones that I hate, are the ones that are always there for me no matter what. They won't flake on me. Money that's all that this world wants, and needs and I totally wish I would give the world what they want. So this doesn't make sense? welp idc really. My blog my thoughts. Blah take it or leave it I really could give a rat's ass? but yet I suffer. My brick wall against the world just keeps getting bigger and bigger and it's gonna be harder to find your way over it. It would take a army to knock me down. I wish I was as emotional tough as I am on the soccer field. When I'm on the soccer field I knock people down and keep going, no emotion involved because all I'm worried about is my team and how I play as a player. It doesn't work like that in life, it's harder to run through something and just knock emotions out the way like it's nothing. Ugh I'm rambling to much fuck it.

Um that's me...

So I wrote this awhile back, maybe in the summer, on my blog on the myspace and recently re-read it and yea I'm posting for your viewings today...


Many call me metri. UM I believe in what I believe. I do as I please without a care in the world. Very nonchalant person. 100% of the time I walk in && out my house whenever without even a hi or bye. idc really. My thoughts are not totally sane. I live a secret life. It is a 99% chance that I'll need professional help & a bottle of meds in the future. Many people believe they know me or are like me...false. I do believe that cancers are really emotional. Hate emotions they are stupid. I Say fuck em all bc we only live for ourselves. People are cynical. Most my $$ goes to food. I only express my feelings through a blog spot && my mind. They are the only two things that listen to me. I don't believe in sitting down letting people know how I feel. That's stupid && a total waste of time. Yes I am a bitch, a jerk, an ass, w.e. u wanna call me but hey that's just me. Now hand me a bottle of Prozac?

Prisoner

Even sunlight dares

and trembles through

my bars

to shimmer

dances on

the floor.

A clang og

lock and

keys and heels

and blood-dried

guns.

Even sunshine dares

It's jail

and bail

then rails to run.

Guard grey men

serve plates of rattle

noise and concrete

death and beans.

Then pale sun stumbles

through the poles of

iron to warm the horror

of grey guard men.

It's jail

and bail

then rails to run.

Black night.

The me

myself of me sleeks

in the folds and history

of fear. To secret hold

me deep and close my

ears of lulls and clangs

and memory of hate.

Then night and sleep

and dreams.

It's jail

and bail

then rails to run.

-Maya Angelou

It's all because of the Brain.

My hopes are high, I'm quite high on hopes.

Only Time Will Tell...

Please don't force or rush my ideas or meddle with my emotions, because only time will tell.
It will tell if things are assorted correctly and if not then welp the world will crumble.

Time will tell the good from the bad but after all is it really different from this or that?
I conclude not. I guess what my mind is trying to whisper will only effect the smallest of creatures. One's face isn't always of clarity or words meant to inflict on one's mentality.

Forgive those that are lost and who have sinned. They have no idea how to separate the weak form the fake. Their eyes hold the truth, which lies deep within the pupils. Who's going in with the flashlight through the ear? The nose? the mouth? Shall you take it head on?

So many different views. How will we go about and choose? Because in the end we only have Self-Reliance...

..only time will tell.





**Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.**