lost for words.

too many moments of silence. my lips are crazy glued together and i pray not forever. lost for words. trillions of word combinations dwindling and rotting around in my cranium. how do you do today? kill them all. please kill these ego tripping distractions. 

lost for words.

literal, not fiction

this friction between us and our 'selfs' 
is cutting holes between our lives.

lost for words
lost four words

is it i that hates and loves?
non sense, the ego is potent
in it's destruction.

save i from i. 

heading in direction
of flamboyant affection
emotional conquistadors
shoving through these walls
of hidden fantasies
ripples crashing into thee
curled into fetal position
squeezing tight 
trusting intuition
or failing foreseen mystical lover(s)
loving one another
from a distant
can't resist this
fluctuating misplacement
still holding on to the unknown
hearts are water balloons
exploding in chest
no lock, no key
their story is undressed.

the older you get...the less you have.

uterus: forget i was here.

lets skip the personal conversations, because that part of chivalry is dead and buried beneath an oak tree. let's not pretend like we're highly interested in personal desires and retirement plans, summers in Italy, and your family heirloom of engagement rings. routines are boring and so are we. lets just sit down with our glasses of wine and unwind. lets not pretend that you love me, because tomorrow you'll love someone else. please do not hold my hand whilst walking side by side. do not treat me like your mother and please do not send me flowers. lets not pretend to be a married couple and lets not pretend any of anything is real. throughout this entire scenario, there's a bit of enjoyment and hope dwindling in between heartbeats. the attraction is fading away and once again, we are empty. another scar is engraved along her arm, representing a deceased lover. 

i'm sunken to an ultimate low. down here i've seen my lost soul. we were torn apart several years ago and lost and forgotten. it hits hard, like a spaceship falling out of the sky and landing on my corpse. it hits hard, like drinking everyday for a decade and losing the feel of my legs. everything is numb. she keeps an extra smile in her purse 'in case of emergencies'. she's beautiful. when they speak of her beauty, a slight smirk is written across her mind. she knows the power she possess but chooses to withhold from using it. she's selling herself short and doesn't really care.